Batman VS Superman, Dawn of Justice ... WTF DID I JUST WATCH?

In this house, we love Batman. Well, my husband is a huge Batman fan and I can watch Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman everyday of the week. In my opinion the best stand alone Batman movie is the 1992 Batman Returns. Having said that, there are few movies across any and all genres that can compete with The Dark Knight Trilogy. So I am left to wonder, why on earth did anyone think Ben Affleck was going to be a "good" or even decent Bruce Wayne/Batman? 

Before I continue on how wrong Batman VS Superman Dawn of Justice was, I need to start by saying, Herny Cavill IS actually Superman. They didn't "cast him well" but rather, he just IS Superman. Gal Gadot is perfect as Wonder Woman (if you haven't watched Wonder Woman from 2017, you are truly missing out. Unfortunately you'll need to sit through Batman VS Superman, Dawn of Justice from none other than the 2016 money grabbing year, first, for Wonder Woman to fully make sense.)

Batman VS Superman, Dawn of Justice was not only painfully boring and completely off character with the morals that Batman actually stands for, you know, no killing. They made him an actual terrorist. Why was he branding people with his bat symbol? Since when does Batman brand bad guys? Where did they even get such a horrible idea from? Why when said "branded" people went to prison, were they killed inside prison? Am I to believe Batman had people working on the "inside" of prison for him? Was he cutting deals with the criminals of Gotham to kill anyone that enters prison with a bat symbol on them? Can someone explain the logic behind all of that? Or better yet, don't waste my time with none sense. 

Why was the only actual "action" in the movie, Batman's night terrors? Why was Batman so huge he could barely walk? Traditionally Batman is strong but lean, he moves more like a ninja than like the muscle head villain Bane. We don't expect Batman to "out muscle" Superman. You will never convince me that punch for punch Batman even has a chance against Superman. It's not how much Batman works out that gives him an edge, it's his money that makes him powerful, his toys, his technology, his ninja ways and how he hides in the shadows. If this movie was my first interaction with Batman I would think he was a total dick. I also don't understand how everyone knew that Batman was Bruce Wayne. If that's the case why is he still running around town with a mask that has pointy ears on it? Grow up and stop playing dress up, we all know it's you.

Lets talk about the awful casing of Lex Luthor. I didn't believe for a second that this zanny little quirky kid was Lex Luthor. Maybe I would have believed him as the Riddler, but Lex Luthor, give me a break. Every scene was more and more awkward and less and less believable. When you put a blazer on a pig, you have a pig wearing a blazer. When you put a blazer on a quirky actor, you have a quirky actor wearing a blazer. Not a mad scientist, not a business magnate, and not the CEO of LexCorp. Truly bad casting, silly scenes and even worse acting.

The last half hour of Batman VS Superman Dawn of Justice was tolerable. TOLERABLE! Meaning, I wasn't scrolling through Instagram, looking to snack or commenting on how awful the film was. Still I am left to wonder, if you hate a man so much you are looking to fight him to the death, piercing his heart with kryptonite, would your mother's name really stop you, mid act? Would you listen to the poorly cast news reporter and unbelievable love interest to Superman? Would the realization that he too has a mother make you now consider him your friend and let bygones be bygones? Does Batman not realize that at some point we all had or have a mother? Then Batman has the balls to tell Superman's mom that he is a friend of her sons. This is a school bully 101. You just tried to kill her son, now you have the nerve to say you're friends with him? I can get down with the monsters, I can get down with the gadgets and gizmos but I can't get down with the cheesy dialog and a story line that doesn't even make sense. I am left to wonder, besides a money grab, WTF DID I JUST WATCH? 


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